The Fires of Tartarus Read online

  “He's gone, so say your piece,” I snapped, trying to keep my voice steady, though my throat was so tight I could barely speak at all. “Why did you come back?”

  He stepped closer, towering over me, and I swallowed hard, trying to still my heart. For so long he had been my refuge, the only place I had ever felt safe, loved. Now I was afraid. Afraid of what he was capable of. Afraid of how much more he could hurt me.

  “We have unfinished business, you and I.” His voice was harsh, his expression just as uncompromising. I looked back at him, at the face that had been so dear to me for so long, and suddenly I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't play this game anymore. I let down my guard, didn't try to disguise the tears that fell. I walked away from him and sat on the bed, head bowed. I couldn't look at him. I wrapped the sheet tighter around me as I discovered I was cold, so cold, my limbs trembling.

  “What more do you want from me?” I asked, the words barely more than a whisper, blurred with pain and emotion.

  He didn't answer at first and when he did, I thought perhaps his voice was a little warmer than before, but perhaps I was just grasping at straws.

  “I want to know who I am. I want to know my history.” He paused and I heard him move towards me. “I want to know about us. You said we have been going around and around together, repeating a cycle ... for how long? What did you mean?” He stopped, and I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. “I want to know,” he growled as though he knew I would deny him.

  I took a breath and made myself look at him. “You want to know?” I said, feeling hot tears as they fell down my face and seeing no reaction in him, no softening, no sympathy. I nodded. “You want to know,” I repeated to myself. Well, why not. I would show him everything. Everything we had been. Everything he had destroyed. He would see it all.

  “Come here then,” I said, gesturing for him to sit with me. “Come here ... and I'll show you all of it, everything. Everything you want to know.”

  Chapter 49

  He came to stand by the bed, looking at me as though it was a trap. I looked away and got up, moving away from him despite the fact I'd invited him to sit there. Suddenly sitting on the bed with him was just too intimate, and I was too raw. My heart had been exposed and it felt bloody and vulnerable, as though it beat in the palm of his hand. Moving to the fireplace, I knelt before it and felt him follow me, standing a short distance away. The flames erupted in the hearth and he took a step back. I smiled a little. “You never did get used to that,” I said softly.

  He came and sat beside me, moving warily, like he didn't trust me. Well that was fair I supposed. I didn't trust him either. Not anymore.

  “Ready?” I asked him. He nodded, his eyes fixed on the flames. I could see them reflected in his eyes, though they didn't make his expression any warmer.

  The images flickered in the blaze of the fire. I began at the beginning. The red-headed girl and her little brother hiding behind a tree as the might of the Roman army thundered into their lives, taking control, changing customs and bringing their emperor's new, one God to banish our old ones, changing history. Stirring everything up and putting it back, cleaner, precise and orderly. Except for Corvus, who fell in love with a flash of vivid green eyes and flame-coloured hair and created chaos as he courted the wild and dangerous girl who was rumoured to be a witch.

  He watched as we fell in love all over again, and I watched him. At first he shut me out, his feelings cut off, shielded from me so I couldn't gage his reaction. Until the soldiers came. His fists clenched then, his muscles taut and the pain in his heart a balm to my own gaping wounds. It wasn't that he dropped his guard. I knew he hadn't, but the reaction was too strong to deny it. He visibly flinched as the soldier threw the burning torch on the pyre at my feet and as the flames caught, he began to tremble.

  My breath hitched, and I reached out to touch him, my fingers just brushing his hand, but he shied away from my touch.

  “I remember the flames,” he said, “the pain.” He touched his hand to his chest, over his heart, and I had to swallow hard, keeping still and not giving into the urge to throw myself into his arms. “I thought that must have been the moment I died,” he added. “I don't know how anyone could live with such pain.”

  “You had no choice,” I said, my voice thick. “Neither of us did.”

  “Show me the rest,” he demanded, and the cold, hard tone was back, though his voice was not as steady as it had been. I looked at him, reaching out with my mind instead, wanting to comfort him somehow, but the shutters between us were slammed down as he pushed me out. “Show me the rest,” he repeated, his voice steady and demanding now.

  So I showed him. The flames reenacted my time with Dis Pater and the way in which he had treated me for my disobedience, for the fact I wouldn't stop loving Corvus no matter how he punished me. And he did punish me for despising him and shunning his touch ... until he took what I refused to give. I glanced at Corvus then, to find him rigid with tension but holding on to his emotions with iron control.

  So I carried on. I gave him some of his own memories, those that he had shared with me, and then ... the meeting in the caves, such a short while ago. The anger and hope in his eyes when he had first seen me, Jéhenne, not Jéhnina, and he'd accused Inés of playing with dark magic. I lived my life with him all over again, lingering on the moments I had loved the most, Christmas, making love and waking up in his arms and my gift to him, his first glimpse of the sun in almost two thousand years. I clutched my arms around myself and wept, mourning for all I had lost as he watched our lives, his life, like it belonged to another. I turned away when we reached Arima. I couldn't watch that again. It lived with me vividly enough, an open wound. I needed no reminders of the pain, of his sacrifice. I showed him then the days that had followed, the days of unending sorrow as I tried to escape, to find a way back to him in my dreams.

  Tartarus. He gasped, rearing back, away from the flames as though the memories had the power to grab hold of him and drag him back down into their fiery depths. He watched as I battled, with Cain and Inés by my side, fighting to bring him back, no matter the risks, no matter the cost. I showed him the price Guillaume paid for his return and the way I had tended to him when he was in the cage, weeping as I cleaned his wounds.

  The images faded away, the flames flickered and died, and we were left kneeling in front of the empty hearth with the ashes already growing cold. The silence between us stretched out, the scant few inches between him and me an abyss that I had become too afraid to cross. I had fallen into the darkness once too often.

  “You know the rest,” I whispered, unable to bear the silence a moment longer. He got up and crossed the room, as far from me as he could get.

  “You were right,” he said, and for a moment hope flickered to life, frail and bright. I held my breath. “It's time this cycle was broken.”

  I closed my eyes against a brighter pain as the light was snuffed out once again.

  “I tried that, Corvus. You came back and broke down my door.” Anger sparked to life in its place, and I got to my feet, confronting him. “You came here and tried to kill Lucas, why was that?”

  He had his back to me, but I could see the tension in the line of his body, the way he held himself. “I don't like him.” The words were bitten off and I laughed.

  “So if I decided to go and fuck someone else, you'd be OK with that, because I have a great many to choose from.” I tapped my chin, pursing my lips as though I was giving it serious thought. “Let's see ... there's a shed load of handsome vampires I could try out, or what about Dragon, now he's seriously hot, but then the Fae always are. In fact ... maybe I'll just go and let Prince Corin know that I've changed my mind?” I nodded, smiling bitterly. I couldn't of course now he was gone from my life too, but I wondered if he remembered his hatred for the man. “You won't know this of course, but he really wants me. My God he's probably the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. Have to say that was the one time I nearly ch
eated on you ... oh before Lucas that is.”

  He slammed his hand into the wall, and I felt the vibration through the floor as the stone shattered beneath his fist. I laughed at his fury, though it was an awful sound, and I wasn't proud of myself for goading him, but I was in too much pain to stop.

  “Fuck who you want,” he growled.

  I walked closer to him. “Oh I will,” I whispered. “You know ... there has only been you up until now. Since the day we met, I have loved you and you alone. Dis Pater took my body, but I gave it to no one but you.” I clenched my fists, flames blazing as my emotions ran beyond my control. “I know I will never love anyone else ever again, Corvus, but I'm damned if I'll spend eternity alone. So I think I'll make up for lost time.”

  He swung around and grasped my wrists, slamming me against the wall, and the sheet I was wrapped in slid to the floor, leaving me naked. His breathing hitched, his eyes darkening with desire.

  “I don't want this,” he shouted in my face, though his body told the lie of that particular statement. “Whatever this is, I want none of it! Those memories belong to another man, a better one than me.” He stared at me, anguish in his eyes at the admission, and I looked back at a man I no longer knew. “He was a better man than I can be. I cannot be him,” he said, his voice implacable.

  “You could,” I whispered. “I know you could.”

  He leaned in closer still, his mouth next to my ear to be sure I heard every word loud and clear as he bit them out. “But ... I. Don't. Want to.”

  I blinked away tears, and he watched as he destroyed me, totally expressionless. “Then what do you want?”

  I waited, watching his face, the war behind those eyes as he tried to reign back the desire that was burning against me like I was in the grip of a forest fire, feeling his hands tighten on my wrists. “I want ... what is rightfully mine.”

  I took a breath, fear rushing down my spine in an icy wave as I realised what I'd done, what I'd shown him along with the memories. I'd been a blind fool. He didn't want me. That wasn't why he'd come. He wanted the family.

  “What do you mean?” I replied as my heart thudded in my chest. His head tilted a little, and I knew he was listening to it. Such a pretty sound, my heart. I hardened my emotions as the loving words he used to tease me with echoed back to me. “You have nothing,” I said coldly. “I've banished you. You are no longer a part of this family.”

  He leaned closer once more, his fangs bared, and my breath caught, real fear blooming in my chest as I realised I couldn't trust him at all. “I am this family.”

  I shook my head as panic began to surge under my skin. “You gave them to me, Corvus. You made me swear to look after them, to keep them safe. You saw it yourself!”

  “And now I am back,” he shouted, and my skin prickled with his anger. “And I want what belongs to me.”

  “No,” I replied with force, though my voice shook. “You said yourself, you're no longer that man. He was a better man than you.” I thought I saw him flinch at that, a flicker of hurt in his eyes, but I couldn't care for his pain any longer. “You're too volatile, too self-obsessed and self-destructive. You are everything he would have despised in a Master. You would destroy them.”

  “They. Are. Mine!” he roared, and I jolted as his fury blazed over me.

  “Over my dead body,” I spat back, and he laughed, an ugly sound that tore at my heart and soul.

  “That ... can be arranged.” He let me go, walking away from me. “You have one hour to let them know their Master has returned to them or I will take them back by force. It is your choice.”

  He was gone. I stood in the dark, breathing hard as my heart raced out of control. There was only a couple of hours until dawn. Everything I had fought for was crumbling around me. I had Ambrogio on one side and Corvus on the other, and somehow I had to protect the family. I wondered if he would really do it? Would he really kill me? I didn't believe all that he'd said. He felt our connection as strongly as I did, the only difference was that he despised it, wanted to be free of it. Perhaps then there was an obvious course of action for him to take, to be free of me once and for all.

  I clutched my arms around myself, sliding down the wall into a crumpled heap on the floor as my legs gave out. I was alone except for the family. Would they want Corvus back? They would choose me over Ambrogio, but if they were given the choice, would they go to Corvus, to their rightful Master, no matter how damaged he was? Would it even matter what they wanted? Corvus was the rightful Master here; if he tried to take them from me, I didn't know if I could fight back. I only knew that I would. I would fight until the end as I always did and perhaps this time I would die ... at his hands.

  I wiped my eyes, forcing my body to move past the weight of despair that threatened to crush me. “Sariel,” I whispered. “Sariel, please, I need you.” I crawled to the bed, dragging the sheet to cover myself with and sat on the edge of the mattress.

  I closed my eyes against the sweep of power as Sariel appeared, and I looked up at him. At least with him there was no need to explain the despair in my eyes. His violet gaze was warm and full of understanding.

  “I'm so sorry, Jéhenne.”

  “I don't know what to do.” I sobbed. “I've made such a mess of everything.”

  He shook his head and moved a little closer, and I felt the touch of his hand beneath my chin as he tilted my head up. “You have done everything you possibly could, Jéhenne. I am proud of you, truly.”

  I sobbed. I had no defence left anymore, least of all against kindness. I sniffed and tried to get myself under control, wiping my face on the bed-sheet. “I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to call you like this but ...”

  “But you needed a friend,” he finished for me, and I looked up in surprise. “I hope that we can consider ourselves that now?”

  I laughed, still sobbing and half hiccuping in amazement that he should say such a thing. “Yes,” I nodded, wiping my eyes and seeing black mascara on the white cotton. At least I was too distraught to care what a mess I must look. “If you really think you want to? I need all the friends I can get but I've got to warn you ... it's a thankless task.”

  He chuckled, and the sound warmed me, thawing a little of the ice around my heart. “Oh I think it's worth the aggravation.”

  “More fool you,” I muttered.

  He snorted and reached out his hands to me. I took one, keeping a firm grip on the bed sheet with the other as he hauled me to my feet.

  “I think you need far less help than you realise, Jéhenne, but I am going to help you nonetheless.”

  “You are?” I asked in astonishment, wondering if I actually had a hope in hell, or possibly heaven, after all.

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I will help you fight for what is yours.”

  Chapter 50

  Under the influence of an angel-induced calm, I showered and tidied myself up as best I could. What exactly did you wear to face off with the love of your life when he had threatened to kill you? I was too exhausted to consider it too hard and pulled on my dressing gown so I could grab some clothes from my room. Sariel was still there and he watched, apparently in no rush as I pulled clean jeans and a top from my wardrobe. I heard a tut and looked around in surprise as he frowned at the black T-shirt.

  “What?” I demanded.

  He got up and took the top from my hands, replacing it with care and taking a moment before silently selecting a red one and handing it to me. I huffed and headed back to the bathroom. Now it seemed I had to take fashion advice from a pixie and an angel.

  I rarely wore red as I didn't think it was a great look with my hair, but as I pulled it on I had to smile. Sariel was right. The woman in the mirror may not be a happy one, but she wasn't about to take any shit. Not from anyone. I padded back to my room and grabbed my favourite pair of DM's. I wasn't under any illusion that I could sway Corvus with a pretty dress and heels, not any more. The likelihood was I would be reduced to running for my life, and I was damned
if I was going to break my neck doing it in stilettos. I knew I was more than capable of killing Corvus if it came down to it. I also knew I could never do it. Not in a million years. So if he could, I'd have to run.

  Sariel nodded his approval. “There she is,” he said with a satisfied grin. “And heaven help any who stand in her way.”

  “Hey, you're meant to be on my side,” I pointed out, trying to join in and do my bit to lighten the mood. He chuckled and I smiled in return.

  I glanced at the clock beside the bed. Nine minutes before my hour was up. Suddenly I felt a lot less calm than I had. I took a breath.

  “He said he'd kill me.” I said the words aloud but even now I could hear the query in them, as if I was waiting for Sariel to deny it, to tell me Corvus could never do that. He would never hurt me, not really. Except he already had.

  He didn't say anything, though, just held out his arms, and I ran into them like a child to their father. I wondered about my real father - would he have helped me? I resolved to say a prayer for him if I survived the night. Perhaps it would comfort him to know he was not forgotten by everyone.

  I sighed, my arms around Sariel's back, and I could feel the warmth of his wings, the barely-there brush of his feathers.

  “All will be well, Jéhenne. Have faith.”

  “Faith in what?” I mumbled against his chest. “I don't know who I'm supposed to believe in anymore.” I found I had been absently tracing the scar across his bare chest with a fingertip and hurriedly removed my hand. There was something about Sariel that made me want to pet him, maybe it was the wings? I looked up at him and he smiled at me.

  “Yourself,” he said. “And faith that those who love you will pick you up if you fall.”