The Fires of Tartarus Page 37

  I fell on my bed and closed my eyes, and the scent of him drifted up from the shirt I had taken. I wrapped it around myself and inhaled, feeling a knot tighten in my chest and a lump in my throat. I was so tired. Not just tired of all the shit that went down on pretty much a daily basis but just tired of wanting him, needing him, and getting nothing but hostility in return. When he had been taken from me, I had focused on the future, on getting him back and making him well again. I'd achieved everything I set out to do, but I felt like I had nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing to focus on, no goal. I couldn't force him to remember. Did I just have to endure and hope that one day ... I felt a wave of despair crash over my head. I might have to wait decades, centuries. He might never remember. What was I going to do?

  I couldn't deal with thinking about it any further, but that was OK. I had plenty of other crap to contend with. A more immediate problem forced its way into my head. Ambrogio had clearly decided he wanted me out of the picture, and no matter how well I completed any further tests or spot quizzes on the life and times of the vampire, he wasn't about to change his mind.

  I tried to be objective about the problem, which really wasn't my strong point, but I considered it. I thought about stepping aside, taking Corvus away and just starting again somewhere else. Nausea washed over me at the idea. What if he remembered in years to come? What if he hated me for giving up and letting another take what he'd left in my care? And what of the family? What if the new Master was cruel or fanatical or ... or just plain boring! My heart thudded as I considered the idea, and I knew I couldn't do it. Corvus had given me his family, his blood, his legacy. It wasn't even a choice. I had to stay, and that meant I had a fight on my hands.

  Damn the Senate and damn bloody Ambrogio. The interfering bastard. I didn't know if the story of him and my father was true or not. But I was beginning to suspect he deserved the curse Apollo had thrown at him.

  I wondered about him - my real father. Had he truly just faded away like Cain said? I wondered what he'd been like. The god of the sun, music, healing and prophesy and the bringer of plague. I snorted inwardly, wondering which of his talents I'd inherited. I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, so it wasn't music that was for sure. I had power over fire so maybe that came from him, and I'd been blessed, or cursed in my view, with the occasional prophetic dream. I certainly had some talent for healing, which I was trying to work on. Blowing things up and killing them was more my style, though, so maybe plague, that sounded about right. I groaned and wondered why I wasn't asleep yet when I was so damn tired, but my brain continued to run in anxious circles like a hamster in a wheel.

  My subconscious undoubtedly had a sadistic streak as it decided to poke at my wounds a bit more and brought Corvus back to mind, the look on his face and the tone of his voice. He'd said he wanted to get as far from me as possible. I swallowed down the panic that rose in my chest all over again. Stop it, Jéhenne. It was too early to give up. He had remembered Tartarus after all. Surely if memories were coming back to him, sooner or later he would remember something good? Wouldn't he? Something that showed him why we were together.

  With a pang of regret I realised how much of our short time had been wasted by fighting, usually because I was so bloody stubborn. But there had been good times. The panic grew as I thought back over our lives and realised how little time we'd actually had together. In reality the time we'd had over both life times could be counted in months, certainly not even close to a decade. Were we being ridiculous, fighting so hard for each other? If Dis Pater had let us alone would we have grown tired with one another? Perhaps we would have lived a long and happy life together or perhaps the love would have died out. I clutched at my pillow and buried my face in the cool cotton. I wouldn't believe that. Corvus had loved me with all his heart, and I had ... I still loved him. I wouldn't give up. Not now. With sorrow and determination in my heart, exhaustion won out, and I fell into a troubled sleep.

  ***

  Mary-Grace sat at the big kitchen table with her delicate fingers clutching a mug of tea, looking like she was about to face a firing squad. Bearing in mind Cain, Inés, Aradia and I sat on the other side of the table she was well within her rights to be alarmed. We were having breakfast, even though it was after three in the afternoon. Vampires tend to skew your timetable.

  Cain sat back and folded his arms, giving her the benefit of a steely expression that could make centuries old vampires quake in their boots, and my estimation of her went up as she flinched visibly, but didn't look away.

  “She can't be trusted,” he stated.

  Aradia nodded in agreement, stirring her bowl of hot chocolate with a finger before sticking it in her mouth.

  “Aren't you late for school or something?” I muttered, glaring at her. I appreciated her help and everything she'd done to aid us in getting rid of Dis Pater, but I didn't see why Inés insisted on bringing her to family meetings now. But the two of them seemed to have formed an unlikely, if brittle, friendship, and I guessed maybe Inés needed the company at the moment. As much as she'd bitched about Heloïse, I knew she was devastated about her death. Aradia stuck her tongue out at me, only reinforcing the impression that she was a precocious twelve year old and not an ancient and powerful witch. I sighed.

  “Non,” Inés said, and my heart fell as I realised she was going to agree with them. “She can't be trusted, but that's not her fault.” She looked up at me and smiled, and I noticed the dark circles under her vivid green eyes with a pang of sadness. “She needs help and we will give it to her. What she does with that help remains to be seen.”

  Mary-Grace let out a breath, and I reached out and patted her hand.

  “Don't look too relieved. If you thought Ambrogio and his vampires were scary, you've yet to spend some time with my relatives.” It was cruel but true, and I hadn't totally forgiven her. Her eyes drifted back to Cain and she paled.

  “I'll do anything you say,” she blurted out, turning the mug around and around in her hands.

  “Don't you have any family, child?” Inés demanded.

  Mary-Grace shook her head. “My parents sent me to the city to be educated when I was five, and I never saw them again. I was just told they died,” she said, her voice flat.

  “You're sure?” Aradia chipped in.

  Mary-Grace gave her an unfriendly look and then a curt nod. “I was told they were dead, but I needed to be certain. When I learned how to dowse, I searched for them.” She shrugged and I felt sorry for her, at the obvious loneliness in her expression. “If there are any of my blood remaining, then they’re not in this realm at least.”

  Aradia pursed her lips but looked satisfied.

  “So what now?” I asked.

  Everyone looked thoughtful but said nothing. I watched, drumming my fingers on the table as Inés picked half-heartedly at a croissant and Cain scowled at his coffee.

  “Well?”

  Cain shrugged. “There's only one thing to do. She goes on as before but she works for us.”

  Mary-Grace's eyes got bigger and rounder.

  “They'll kill me,” she whispered.

  “Not if you're convincing,” Cain said with a smile which may have been meant to reassure her; it was hard to tell. It looked more like a threat but Cain's smiles often did.

  “Cain's right,” I said, albeit reluctantly. “We can't just take you away from them when they are our guests.” I grimaced at the idea but carried on. “So you'll need to tell them what you discovered last night.”

  She looked genuinely shocked and shook her head. “I wouldn't! I can't, not after everything you did for Corvus ... No. I won't.”

  Her reaction was heartfelt, and I knew in that moment that I could trust her. I reached over again and took her hand.

  “Thank you.” I squeezed her fingers and let go. “I'm not suggesting you tell them what you actually saw ...”

  “Oh,” she replied and immediately began to stress. “I can't lie to a vampire!”

 
I smiled at her. “You could if you believed it was the truth.”

  ***

  “You've heard him too, haven't you?” I demanded of Lucas as he sat on the end of his bed, Cain, Aradia, Mary-Grace and I surrounding him. He actually looked kind of adorable, all rumpled and sleepy despite his obvious annoyance at being woken so suddenly by the four of us.

  He nodded, looking grim. “I'd hoped it was just part of the test, to see how loyal we were to you but ...” He shook his head. “He tried it again, while we were sleeping, and there's no mistaking his intention now. Ambrogio wants you gone, Jéhenne. I don't think there's any doubt of that.”

  There were only a few hours before night fell. We didn't have long, but there was now the outline of a plan, of sorts.

  Lucas looked up at me. “So you want me to change her memories and make her believe she heard a discussion between us?” He turned his attention to Mary-Grace, who stared at her shoes with growing interest.

  I nodded, leaning on the end of the bed and trying to ignore Aradia's frank expression of approval for Lucas as it was creeping me the hell out. “If Ambrogio believes I'll go quietly in the right circumstances, it will buy us time.”

  “Time to do what?”

  I shrugged and pulled a face. “Convince him of the error of his ways?” I said with a hopeful expression.

  Lucas chuckled. “Make him an offer he can't refuse, more like.”

  Cain looked at us in confusion. “Just kill him,” he said in impatience.

  “The chances are we won't have any choice. It will be him or us, but he's the father of vampires, and maybe he has Senate members with him but not all the Senate. There are more where they came from.”

  Lucas nodded. “I doubt knocking off the father of the race is going to go unnoticed.”

  I put my head in my hands. I didn't want to start a damn war, but I would if it came to it. But then people would die. My people. I'd sworn I wouldn't lose anyone else.

  “Do you think they know?” I asked suddenly. Everyone turned to me frowning. “I mean, do the rest of the Senate know he's here, what he's doing?”

  “You think the visit is unsanctioned?” Cain asked with interest.

  I rubbed the back of my neck to try and ease the tension that was threatening to give me a migraine. “I don't know but ... all that legal shit you made me read.” I waved my hand at Lucas like it was his fault. “Vampires don't do anything without a shed load of documentation behind them giving them permission. They are far more bound by rules and restrictions than the human race even, and taking over another family... There is no way Ambrogio could swan in here and start throwing his weight about without all sorts of paperwork in place first.” I met Lucas' eyes. “So where is it?”

  “They don't know he's here,” he said in surprise.

  I nodded. I couldn't be totally certain, but what I'd said was true enough. Vampires might live by a hierarchical code, but that didn't mean the strongest among them could act with impunity. Even Corvus, ancient as he was, had needed to apply for permission just to create a new vampire, and if someone in the family made an unauthorised kill, the paperwork that generated would keep an entire legal team busy for months, not to mention the hefty fines that would be levied. Another reason why Masters needed to keep such absolute control. Being a vampire in the twenty first century was no walk in the park and a loose cannon could bring everything crashing down around them. Ambrogio's longing for the old days was as close to treasonous talk as a vampire could get, and no matter that he was the father of the race. Going strictly on their laws, all must comply.

  Cain began to laugh, a low wicked sound that had us all looking at him in surprise.

  “What?” he said and then shrugged, his mouth quirked in amusement. “It's just it's not the first time the Senate have engaged me to take out one of their own. I'll just say I was doing them a favour and saving them the trouble.”

  “Throwing in a freebie, huh?” I asked with eyebrows raised.

  He frowned and then pursed his lips. “I never said that.” He looked at my incredulous face and tutted. “There's no such thing as a free lunch, Jéhenne.”

  Aradia giggled and I turned to glare at her. “What?” she said, quite unrepentant. “It's funny.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck harder and wondered if I knew more sociopaths and psychos than the average witch. Right now I could only be grateful that I did.

  Chapter 46

  Once Lucas had played about with Mary-Grace's mind to our satisfaction, everyone went to get what rest they could before the evening's fun began.

  “Jéhenne,” Lucas called as I went to follow the others out. He held out his wrist to me, and I realised as he did it that I was seriously hungry. My mouth watered as he raised his wrist to his teeth to cut the skin. Before I'd even processed the idea, I found myself beside him and covered the wound with my mouth. Sweet and rich, the taste of him was decadent, a heady, pleasure-inducing high that no drug could ever replicate. I hated and loved it in equal measure - hated how out of control it made me feel, how much I needed it. But, oh, it was so good.

  I moaned, some distant part of me cringing a little at the sound but too far off to make me feel bad. I heard Lucas' breath quicken, and his arm snaked around me. His skin was warm so he must have fed recently too, and the silky feel of it was pure temptation. I struggled to focus on the taste of him and ignore the strong male body so close to mine. Frustration sang through my bones. It had been a long time since I'd had any kind of physical release. I was noticing more and more the emptiness of my bed, the hollow feeling inside of me. I didn't feel comfortable having him with me when I slept anymore, no matter how I craved the comfort of his presence. I told myself that it was his declaration that had changed everything, but that wasn't all it was. It was a longing not to be alone anymore, a need to be touched, to be loved and reassured, all of the things that Lucas was only too willing to give me. The temptation to take him up on the offer, even for just one night, was becoming hard to ignore.

  His hand stroked my hair, resting on the back of my neck, a warm, heavy weight. It was comforting, reminding me of everything Lucas was - strong, dependable and loyal. He deserved so much more than I could give him. I released his wrist but didn't move away. It was an indulgence, but I needed the contact with him, just to sit with him, to not be all alone.

  “What's wrong?”

  His voice was low and full of concern, and I failed to stifle a bubble of laughter. He gave a snort as he realised what he'd said. Everything was wrong.

  “You're afraid?” he asked, and I shrugged, too exhausted to talk about it. “Me too.”

  I looked up at him to find those warm brown eyes watching me. “It's worse when I'm alone,” he admitted. “I feel like everything is spinning out of control, and I can't move because I don't know what to do, or at least what to do first.”

  I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. I was just ... overwhelmed. He moved my hair to one side and lowered his head, his mouth brushing the sensitive skin just below my ear. “Stay,” he whispered against my skin, as the touch became a kiss. “Please, stay.” I could hear the emotion in his voice, the aching need. “Stay with me, Jéhenne. I can't bear it.” Longing and desire bloomed fiercely, deep in my core, and it would be so easy to give in, but I knew that I wouldn't. Couldn't. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't what I wanted. Not at heart at least. I took his hand, holding it against my cheek before pressing a kiss against the palm.

  “I can't,” I said, not looking at him. “You know I can't.”

  I felt a wash of anger and hurt from him that was brought quickly under control.

  “You could,” he said, his voice flat as he tried to deaden the emotion. He got to his feet and took a couple of paces before turning around. “He doesn't care, Jéhenne. He doesn't want you, doesn't love you, doesn't remember. I do.” His words were accusing and harsh, but all I could see was the pain in his eyes. I knew only too well what it was to love someone and get nothing
in return.

  “I know,” I said helplessly. It wasn't like I could argue. It was all too humiliatingly true.

  “He might never remember!” he shouted. “Will you wait for him for the rest of your life? Centuries of loneliness for someone who doesn't give a shit.”

  I blinked back tears as he echoed all of my own fears.

  “Yes,” I said, the word choked with emotion.

  He made an incoherent sound of pain and rage. “And all the time he's ...” He stopped, his fists clenched, fury emanating from him in fierce waves.

  “He's what?” I asked as a cold chill turned my stomach inside out.

  He shook his head, a tight, curt movement that didn't reassure me. “He doesn't deserve you,” he said, staring at me, his voice implacable. “He did, once. But no longer. The sooner you realise that fact the happier everyone will be.”

  “The happier you'll be!” I flung back at him and immediately regretted it as I saw the hurt in his eyes.

  “You're right,” he said, turning away from me. “You should go.”

  I got to my feet, but I couldn't leave with anger simmering between us. Lucas deserved better than that. I walked up to him and took hold of his hand.

  “I'm so sorry,” I said, knowing it was a pathetic thing to say but not having anything better to give.

  “I know.” His voice was heavy with regret, but he squeezed my fingers, and I knew we'd forgiven each other. This time at least. I wondered how long it would be before he grew tired of being alone, longing for someone he couldn't have. I shut the door behind me and headed back to my own bed to sleep alone too.

  ***

  I got ready, taking a great deal of care over my appearance just to keep myself busy. Lucas was with Ambrogio. I could feel his tension, his anger, though he was trying to keep it from me. I tried to focus on Kai as he fussed with my hair and had to bite my tongue to stop myself from snapping at him. I wouldn't hurt his feelings just because I was on edge.